I caught myself again today. I caught myself entertaining those thoughts that so easily creep in, tear my focus from where it should be, and completely change my attitude if I let them.
Why all the snow? Mr. Huseby just said that we are supposed to get anywhere from 3-18 inches this weekend, and Becca is supposed to be coming to visit. Hasn't it snowed plenty already? What if it keeps snowing like this and I can't go to Sterling next weekend? What if Jon and I can't go to Marysville over Spring Break to look for a place to live once we are done with school? Why can't it just stay nice like it was several days ago?
Ahhhh! What in the world is that wretched sound that just came from that key? This piano is in desperate need of a thorough tuning. Why hasn't it been tuned? There are even business cards for tuners sitting on the piano!
It's Thursday: cleaning day. What is the point in cleaning on slushy days like today? I'd rather just crochet while I watch Downton Abbey.
You get the idea. Complaining comes so easily, and it is so easy to rationalize. I don't like to hear myself complain, and I know that no one else does either, not to mention the stench it must be to my Lord.
Before heading too far down road of discontentment and irritation, He nudged me gently.
My child, why are you thinking this way? Your vision is far too narrow right now, and you are being very ungrateful.
It's funny how counting my blessings (including the ones that are incognito) can so quickly stifle my complaints, worry, and discontentment. Looking at what God has done instead brings rejoicing, peace, and contentment: not because I assume that God will turn everything to roses and sunshine, but because I remember what is true and Who is true.
Lord, I am thankful for the abundance of snow that is quenching this parched land. Thank you for Becca's friendship and for the technology to communicate with her even if she can't come to visit. Thank you for having the future in your hands. Whether that future includes trips to Sterling and Marysville or not, I trust you. Thank you for clearing the skies enough yesterday for me to get to town to get groceries for the next several weeks.
Thank you for pitchy pianos that keep me humble. Thank you for a mom who wouldn't let me quit taking piano lessons when I wanted to so badly. Thank you for excellent the excellent teachers I had, and thank you for the opportunities to play here at school.
Thank you for a cozy apartment where my husband and I can escape from the frigid outdoors. Thank you for the discipline you are developing in me through keeping the apartment clean and somewhat organized. Thank you for the time I have right now to develop that discipline and the confidence you then give me to use this place you have provided for hospitality.
Thank you for a husband with a servant's heart who, quietly and without fanfare, does whatever needs to be done when he can, even if it is the simple task of picking up empty Communion cups or folding a load of towels.
Thank you for a wonderful family that makes silly videos, worships together, and loves each other. Thank you for a God-fearing dad and father-in-law who both work so hard in different ways to provide for their families and to reach out to hurting people at the same time. Thank you for a faithful mom and mother-in-law who are always available, who share my heart, and whom I can text about plants, crocheting, worries, puppies, struggles, joys, and jokes.
Thank you for friends who still share their lives with me even though many of them are so incredibly far away. Thank you for the ways you are growing them and growing me through them. Thank you for heart connections with my dearest friends that go so deep, they are difficult to express.
Above all, thank you for Your Son. Thank you for sending Him to take all of the punishment for my sin on the Cross. Thank you for the institution of Communion and the way it helps me to slow down and remember who You are and who I am. Thank you for your forgiveness, mercy, grace, and love. You satisfy my soul's deepest needs and desires. Thank you for making salvation so simple. I believe in Your Son, and I am saved. Thank you for nudging me when I need to be nudged, even when I am stubborn for a time. Thank you for the hope you have given me by the resurrection of Your Son, and thank you for the promise that you are coming again. I love you Lord. Help me to love you in my obedience today.
This is the day that the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it!