Infertility Is

Infertility is being afraid to hope because the inevitable disappointment that follows month after month is just too much to handle sometimes.

Infertility is feeling like you are letting down everyone around you - the would-be father, the would-be grandparents, the would-be aunts and uncles, the would-be cousins, the would-be babysitters, teachers, friends, and mentors. 

Infertility is questioning whether this is because of something in your (or your spouse’s) past, and knowing there are other people who wonder the same. 

Infertility is isolating and lonely when kept hidden. 

Infertility is having no answers. It is thinking you have an answer, waiting 6 months, and then looking for more answers. It is having countless answers and yet still no answer at all. 

Infertility is diligently fighting against the comparison trap, but occasionally falling into frustration, jealousy, confusion, and/or outrage.  

Infertility is getting poked, cut, screened, flushed, and tested until you, your marriage, and your bank account can’t hardly stand anymore. 

Infertility is sometimes being angry at the only One whom you fully believe can ultimately do anything or bring you any real comfort about your situation. Then it is feeling guilty, ashamed, and hopeless for feeling that way. 

Infertility is looking into sympathetic eyes that don’t understand.

Infertility is giving short, robotic answers so that the abyss of emotions doesn’t burst forth to swallow you whole again.

Infertility is scoffing at the irony of being less fertile than a Target manikin. 

Infertility is seeing God work in many ways while He appears to remain frozen with regard to your ability to conceive. 

Infertility is genuinely feeling happy for all the friends and the siblings and the kids you used to babysit when they announce their pregnancies while simultaneously writhing inside with the possibility that it may never be your turn.  

Infertility is having a pass to a secret club that no one wants to be a part of and that 99% of members are trying desperately to leave. 

Infertility is wondering. Wondering if you will ever get to see the joy on everyone’s face (particularly your husband's face) when you reveal that you are finally pregnant. Wondering if you will ever get to plan an announcement, have a baby shower, design a nursery, choose a name, or experience pregnancy, labor, and delivery. It is wondering if you will ever get to see your own eyes or your husband’s hair reflected in your child. 

Infertility is being unable to do what you were designed to do. 

Infertility is having all sorts of biblical role models but also loathing the thought of having to wait as long as Sarah did.

Infertility is suddenly feeling like time is your enemy and struggling to celebrate birthdays as your own number creeps up, your chances slide down, and your risks climb higher. 

Infertility is a seemingly endless cycle of grieving someone who has not yet existed. 

Infertility is knowing that babies are being torn from the wombs of their mothers every day while yours sits empty. 

Infertility is not wanting to give up on having biological children while also not wanting to wait too long before starting the process of adoption (not that the two are mutually exclusive or interchangeable). 

Infertility is a lot of not knowing what to do next or when. 

Infertility is hearing people say, “trying is the fun part,” when they have no idea how stressful, chore-like, hopeless, and/or painful sex can become if you and your spouse fail to intentionally fight for real intimacy. 

Infertility is learning to accept and enjoy a life that is not at all what you originally wanted or pictured. 

Infertility is being grateful for the time, freedom, and sleep-filled nights you have while also knowing you would give it all up in a heartbeat to become a parent. 

Infertility is knowing that adoption is not a cure. 

Infertility is crying after taking your waking temperature because it dropped 13 days past ovulation, and you know even before your period ever shows up that though you did everything right, it still didn’t work. 

Infertility is taking all the pills: prescriptions, supplements, herbal remedies, and more. 

Infertility is researching anything and everything related to fertility until you’ve run out of places to look. 

Infertility is gaining a whole slew of acronyms: IUI, IVF, CD, BD, 2WW, AF, BBT, BFN, BFP, OPK, PCOS, HCG, LH, HSG.....

Infertility is seeing doctor after doctor - traditional and unconventional, compassionate and insensitive, attentive and dismissive.

Infertility is waiting for weeks, months, and years without any guarantee that the wait will end. 

Infertility is considering acupuncture even though you used to think people who subjected themselves to such a thing were basically insane. 

Infertility is painful - physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually. 

Infertility is taking a pregnancy test early because even though you know it’s illogical, a small part of you hopes that doing so will somehow prevent your period from coming. 

Infertility is daily continuing to choose to believe in, to trust, to pray to, to worship, and to obey God anyway, regardless of how He chooses to write your story.  And also sometimes failing to do so. 

Infertility is learning over and over again that life is not about you. 

Infertility is having friends and family rally together to help support you in ways that yank the pent-up tears from your eyes and bring you to your knees. 

Infertility is understanding and connecting with specific people in ways you never could have otherwise.

Infertility is having an opportunity to influence, to serve, to encourage, and to comfort others. 

Infertility is a brokenness through which God can still bring about good and reveal His glory.   

Infertility is not what I would have chosen, it is not who I am, it does not define my value, and it is not the most important detail of my story. But it is a part of my story.

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For All Who Need Rest

One of my husband’s favorite places that we’ve visited is Kentucky. Among other things, he loved the dark walls of trees huddling together and stretching up into the sky and out over the roads. The thrill of the unknown and the whisper of adrenaline- pumping adventure captivates his wild heart that is so often suffocated under the weight of responsibility, propriety, and protocol. He and I are opposite in nearly every way, so it should come as no surprise that I prefer the vast, open, fields in northeastern Colorado.  I am no doubt more influenced by the nostalgia of growing up in that area than Jon is, but even beyond the comfort of familiarity, I’ve come to relish the simplicity and the stillness that characterize the endless sea of cream, sage, and auburn nestled against the wide expanse of blue. There, a person has space to think, to listen, to feel, to breathe, and to be. Such is the delight of an introvert.  

Simple stillness is a rest that my parched spirit craves in the hustle and emotional upheaval of juggling 3 part time jobs, ministry, household duties, marriage, infertility, health, friendships, and home improvement projects. Deep down, I know I erroneously view rest as a treat and not as a necessary staple. It’s so easy in our culture to buy into the lie that busyness makes us valuable, desirable, or admirable and that taking time to refresh and recharge is selfish. Even in church culture, we can start to overemphasize doing and serving over knowing and enjoying. And besides, busyness is one way to numb the pain in our hearts. Jesus has been echoing his gentle correction of Martha to me over and over in recent months: “Sharayah, Sharayah, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only one thing is necessary, for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her” (Lk. 10:41b, 42).  

The rest God calls us to and has provided for us is deeper than a catnap on a Sunday afternoon. It is a profound soul rest that comes from knowing the end of the story and from knowing and trusting the author of that story. It is a heart at ease because it knows it is safe in the hands of the One who rescued it from the worst thing that could ever happen- separation from Love and Goodness Himself for eternity. It is a quiet mind that can remain unshaken by circumstances because it is anchored in submission to its unchanging Creator instead of enslaved to unpredictable waves of feelings.  

However, so many believers (I am one of the worst offenders) don’t live in that rest. We allow the distractions and disillusionment of a painful and impossibly fast-paced earthly life to cloud out what we know to be true. We yield to the whims of our emotions (which make a tyrant of a boss - check out the first sermon in The Crossing’s latest series for more on this) instead of to our gentle, all-knowing, and loving Lord. As we fix our eyes on the white-capped rapids of our circumstances and obey the internal tumult they produce, we naturally drift toward them and away from the still waters of Jesus’s presence.  

Jesus beckons, “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Mt. 11:28-30).  

You and I need to intentionally slow down enough to:

•          remember Jesus and come to Him,
•          worship our Creator,
•          nourish our souls with God’s Word, 
•          express to God both our gratefulness and our desires, 
•          allow Him to restore us,
•          start anew through confession (agreeing with God about our sin),
•          express the creativity He placed within us, and
•          just be who He made us to be.  

We also need to make a practice of regular stopping:

•          Stop striving.  
•          Stop powering through.  
•          Stop depriving ourselves of the good part. Stop giving our emotions free reign and control over our behavior.
•          Stop believing the lie that we can still enjoy the deep soul rest God has provided without resting from the demands of our never-ending to-do lists and without dealing with the junk in our hearts.  

      The abundant life is not one that is stuffed to the painfully distended brim with activity but one that in all aspects, whether regarding rest or work, looks to and bends to Jesus.  

      I haven’t mastered this by any means, but I’m learning. Like many, I have the knowledge, but working it out in my life is not always so easy. Nevertheless, God keeps reminding me that there is too much at stake not to press forward in this area. He gave the nation of Israel the Sabbath command not to control them, to suppress them, to bore them, or to punish them, but as a gift of margin to fill a real need that he had placed within them as a reflection of His own character (God does not tire, but still He rested on the seventh day after creation). Similarly, He has given you and I the spiritual discipline of rest not as one more thing we have to do to please him, but as a gift to help us discover the rich life He modeled for us and died to give us. When we choose to cultivate internal rest and to create periods for external rest, we choose to be like Him.  

            Not only this, but a heart that is not at rest because it is burnt out or harboring unresolved issues bleeds onto everyone closest to it. Our relationships matter too much to neglect this area. Whether we like it or not, our relationships with God and with all those around us are seriously affected by whether or not we are intentionally resting in Christ.  As we make the time to recharge in His presence, as we choose to follow Him alone, and as we allow Him to remove the weeds that have taken root inside us, we will experience His peaceful rest that surpasses all understanding both within our hearts and in our relationships, regardless of what life throws at us. 

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Phillips News & Spring Highlights 2019

Our life has been a whirlwind since my big surgery back in March, and it’s been a while since I’ve written an update on life, so here it is! 

Surgery & Recovery

            During the surgery, the doctors essentially sliced and diced my insides robotically and then stitched it all back together.  Of course it was all much more careful and precise than that, but you get the idea.  They excised the endometriosis, performed a bilateral ovarian wedge resection to help treat my PCOS, and then sewed everything up in a way that greatly reduces scar tissue formation.  If you want to read more about the procedures in detail you can do so here.  Later on, the lab confirmed that there had been twelve areas of endometriosis, including inside the little extra fallopian tube I mentioned in the Phillips Medical Update and inside one of my ovaries.  My doctor was happy with how everything went, and thankfully the surgery only took 6.5 hours instead of the predicted 8.  They didn’t make me stay overnight at the hospital at all.  I moved slowly and tired easily throughout recovery, but the pain was pretty well manageable with the meds, the ice packs, a heating pad, and an attentive husband and mother-in-law.  After I had recovered a bit, my doctor started me on antibiotics for a cycle to clear up some cervicitis, and I also started progesterone and a whole slew of recommended supplements (my nightstand looks like it belongs to a ninety-year-old).  She is letting me take the progesterone pills for now instead of doing the injections (hallelujah!), but I still have to get blood drawn once a month while they get my hormones leveled out.  Now, I’m doing really well.  I have occasional internal pain, but it is minor and short-lived.  I haven’t had any bad side effects from the medication changes, and I’ve had more energy than even before the surgery.  I’m glad to be on the other side of surgery and look forward to continually seeing improvements in my overall health.                          

Dancing with the Stars

            Dancing with the Stars is an annual fundraiser that is put on for the Gothenburg Community Playhouse/Sun Theatre.  Prominent members of the community are recruited into four dance teams.  They each have a coach from the community who helps them come up with a dance routine.  After weeks of preparation, they dress up and compete before an audience for the most votes.  This year, the tickets for the event sold out in just eight minutes.  Jon had the opportunity to contribute by making several videos for the event and by helping with the live stream.      

Family Visits

            A little over three weeks after surgery, we went to Scottsbluff to visit Jon’s parents and a couple siblings and nephews.  Rebecca (Jon’s oldest sister from Kentucky) was there with her son (Nathaniel), and we hadn’t seen them in a long time, so it was good to get to spend time with them.  We also went to Mitchell Berean’s worship night that weekend, and Jon had the surprise privilege of being called up to lead the song “Do it Again” by Elevation Worship with the team that we had so often served alongside while we lived in Scottsbluff.  It was a precious moment.  Ben (Jon’s brother) spoke, JaNae (Ben’s wife) danced to one of the songs, and I enjoyed holding Micah (their son) even though it was probably a little too soon after surgery. 

            My parents came to visit us a couple weekends later.  I love getting to spend time with them.  I am truly so thankful for the family God gave me.  They happened to come during Gothenburg’s city-wide garage sales, so we went to a couple of those and also went to a bunch of open houses (more on this later…).  The time with them always seems too short.              

Easter

            Easter Sunday was my first Sunday back on worship team.  The time leading up to Easter is busy, but it’s well worth it.  The Crossing had three services instead of our normal two and saw about five hundred faces come through the doors of the Life Center.  It was a sweet time of celebrating our risen Savior.  We are so thankful we have the freedom to worship openly and the space now to invite more people to come meet, follow, and love Jesus. 

Drive Conference

            The weekend after my parents visited, Jon left with the staff of The Crossing and some other leaders to attend the Drive Conference in Atlanta, Georgia.  He had a blast and interacted with as many worship and youth people as he could.  The conference was a time of refreshment for the team as they got away and were able to catch a renewed vision for what God has called us all to do.  Jon returned excited, determined to learn how to delegate more in areas where he has stretched himself too thin, and challenged to lead worship more confidently and freely. 

           

Graduations

            How graduation sneaks up on me every year, I’m not sure.  Several of our students were seniors this year, so we had a few parties to attend.  Graduation time is bittersweet, but we are looking forward to seeing how God continues to grow these students and use them as they begin the transition into adulthood. 

Mother’s Day

            Mother’s Day has been difficult for me the past couple of years, but I really felt at peace this year.  I have a wonderful mother, mother-in-law, and several other mother figures to celebrate.  Another blogger I follow posted about rejoicing with those who rejoice and weeping with those who weep (Rom. 12:15).  I accepted God’s grace this year in being able to do just that.  I’m learning how to be authentically happy for my mommy friends and my numerous pregnant friends (soooo many babies coming into the world this summer and fall!) and also ache with longing and empathize with those who find Mother’s Day to be a challenge for whatever reason.  There is room in my heart for both, and I know that I am genuinely okay as I am.        

Intern Farewell

            Ellie finished up her youth and worship internship at The Crossing and headed off to serve at Maranatha BibleCamp again this summer.  She might come back after the summer for another semester, but she hasn’t decided for sure about that yet.  We will miss having consistent access to her tender heart, her ability to connect with the teens, her creative ideas, her incredible talent, and her passion for spiritual growth and for people in general.         

Housing

            Last month, we found out that a couple had approached our landlord about possibly buying the house we are currently renting.  It was not on the market, but the couple knew that this house would be a good fit for what they are needing.  They came to look at it a couple different times, but they were looking at another house as well.  A little over one week ago, we got the news that they decided to move forward with buying the house we are living in.  The closing date is scheduled for June 10. 

            We had been in the early stages of thinking about buying a house, but we weren’t at all thinking it would happen this soon.  At this point, we definitely won’t be able to close on our own house before we will need to be out of this one.  However, we may end up renting whatever house we decide to purchase until we can close, or we have had some other options for temporary housing offered to us as well.  We have already started the loan application process and are happy with how that is going, and we have at least two houses that are good possibilities.  I started packing this last weekend. 

            Through all of this upheaval, I have been unusually and inexplicably at peace.  Jon has been the more anxious one (which is a complete flip-flop from our usual pattern).  The timing of it all seems both horrific and perfect.  My surgeries are done, and the resulting bills will be paid off soon.  We had been concerned about an additional $40,000 that we appeared to owe on one bill, but I finally was able to confirm that we don’t owe that amount (a code was overlooked) just days before we found out that the couple definitely wanted to buy our house.  Jon is supposed to be at Maranatha Bible Camp again for the majority of June, so we had prayed that the moving process wouldn’t be during that time.  Ironically, June 10 is the first day of the first camp.  It’s one of those times when you wish you would have prayed a little more specifically (God, we meant after camps were over…but we’ll take it!).  Even though everything is still a little up in the air right now, I know God will provide.  I don’t see the path clearly now, but I have seen His hand all over this.  Plus, we’ve seen his provision time and time again in the past.  It’s all His, and if He is giving this house to meet someone else’s need, then He has a different one to meet our need.  We would appreciate prayer for the decision making process as we move forward!

Jon’s Story

            Jon shared his story last Sunday at The Crossing.  It was difficult to again re-live the hellish season of our marriage, but we know that his vulnerability had an impact on people.  We are praying that more people will be set free from their cycles of guilt, shame, and sin.  We would appreciate prayer for us (and all the other staff who shared their stories) in this as well.  Opening up in a way that might cause others to break free from sin or turn to Jesus tends to place a target on your back for spiritual attack.         

Lessons in Trials

            A Bible passage popped into my mind as I was going through my morning routine the other day.  “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4 NIV).  I memorized these verses at school, but that was several years ago.  Yet, every word unexpectedly shot through my mind as clear as day.  It’s another one of those passages that used to be nearly impossible to accept.  How could one trial, let alone trials of many kinds, be considered a joy?  How could things like betrayal, infertility, health problems, multiple unexpected moves, unfaithfulness, false guilt, true guilt, rejection, financial mountains, job loss, job struggles, busyness, marital battles, ministry heartaches, emotional and mental turmoil, loneliness, family tension and trauma, and deaths of loved ones possibly make a person more complete when they more often feel like they are tearing you to pieces? 

Looking back, it is so much easier to see.  Yes, there was pain, and yes, I would have chosen different things for myself.  I am not the person I was before all of this, but it’s not because I have lost broken pieces of myself.  As I’ve learned to keep choosing Jesus in the midst of the turmoil, He has been making me more into my truest self – the one that He already sees as glorified and finished.  He does not revel in my pain; in fact, I believe He cries with me.  However, He knows that these things have taught (and continue to teach) me invaluable lessons in forgiveness, grace, dependence, flexibility, courage, love, freedom, compassion, obedience, vulnerability, rest, trust, and ultimately in perseverance.  I gain perseverance through each trial because I can look back and see how God preserved me through the past and how He used it for the better.  I know Him and cannot deny Him even when my circumstances make me want to do just that.  While my trials added to me in so many ways, they also chipped away at my independent pride, my sense of entitlement, my sin, and my selfishness.  The path to maturity and wholeness is not one of comfortable and pleasurable ease or exploration, but of discipline, struggle, and loss. 

“He who as found his life will lose it, and he who has lost his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 10:39 NASB). 

“More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; in order that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.  Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:7-12).

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The Way (Part 5): Can I Ever Lose My Salvation?

            The one question that I struggled with the most from elementary school all the way through college was whether or not I could lose my salvation.  The church I attended taught that I could not, but I met others who believed differently and used Bible verses to back up their stance.  I was confused by passages that, in my mind, seemed to conflict with each other.  Though I had many excellent biblical teachers and leaders growing up, it wasn’t until I attended Frontier School of the Bible that this issue of eternal security (the inability to lose one’s salvation) was really settled in my mind.  While immersed in the Bible and in teaching about the Bible at school, I learned more in depth how to observe what I read, how to thoughtfully and prayerfully interpret it based on both its immediate literary and historical contexts, and how to appropriately apply it to my life.  I also learned the importance of interpreting muddy passages in light of clear ones, not the other way around.  This instruction helped me to clearly see why it was true that my salvation could never be lost.  I want to share with you why you too can rest in the security of God’s guarantee if you have believed in Jesus as we discussed in part 4. 

1.  God can’t and won’t lose it.

           

Hebrews 6:16-18 – “For men swear by one greater than themselves, and with them an oath given as confirmation is an end of every dispute.  In the same way God, desiring even more to show to the heirs of the promise the unchangeableness of His purpose, interposed with an oath, so that by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have taken refuge would have strong encouragement to take hold of the hope set before us.”  God cannot lie, and He won’t change His mind.  His purpose toward the heirs of the promise (those who have believed) is unchangeable.  When He says that those who believe in Jesus will be saved, we can know on the basis of His character that it is true and that it will come to pass. 

2 Timothy 2:13 – “If we are faithless, He remains faithful, for He cannot deny Himself.”  Unlike us, God is faithful.  He will never betray us or deceive us. 

Hebrews 13:8 – “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.”  Not only is God’s purpose toward the heirs of promise unchangeable, but He Himself is unchangeable in His character.  People shift and change constantly, but God is always the same.  We can trust Him and His Word; He keeps His promises.

John 14:16-18 – “I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever; that is the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it does not see Him or know Him, but you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.  I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.”  The very second you believe in Jesus for salvation, the Holy Spirit comes to live inside of you forever.  He will never leave you.  Romans 8:9 also makes it very clear that if you don’t have the Holy Spirit, you don’t belong to Christ.  Those who belong to Christ have the Holy Spirit.  This provides the setting for our next passage…

Ephesians 1:13-14 – “In Him [Jesus Christ], you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation – having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy spirit of promise, who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.”  The Holy Spirit seals us in Christ.  In volume 1 of Wuest’s Word Studies, Kenneth S. Wuest provides some helpful insight into these verses.  He gives some examples of how a seal means that everything is in done and ready to be delivered (Wuest, 49).  He goes on to further explain, “In the symbolism of Scripture a seal signifies (1) A finished transaction…(2) Ownership…[and] (3) Security....Thus, God places the Holy Spirit in us permanently..., indicating that the great transaction in which God the Son paid for sin, thus satisfying the just demand of God’s holy law, is finished; that we saints belong to Him as His heritage, and that we are eternally secure” (Wuest, 49).  Wuest also explains how the word “pledge” refers to earnest money, or a down payment of sorts of our salvation.  Believers now experience justification and sanctification, but we await our glorification.  The Holy Spirit is God’s “earnest money” – a guarantee that we will be glorified (Wuest, 49-50).  I have also heard this concept illustrated in terms of engagement.  The Holy Spirit is like an engagement ring given from God to us; it is a commitment and promise of the marriage to come.  The gift of the Holy Spirit gives us great assurance that we are secure in Christ.          

1 John 2:1-2 – “My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin.  And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and He Himself is the propitiation [satisfactory payment] for our sins; and not for ours only, but also for those of the whole world.”  Satan doesn’t need to accuse us falsely.  We give him plenty of ammunition even after we have been saved by sinning.  On our own, we are all guilty (like we talked about it part 2). Thankfully, we believers have an Advocate to stand against the accuser, no matter how true his accusations are.  Our Advocate, Jesus, stands before God and declares that our sins cannot be held against us because He took the punishment for them already.  Not only that, but He gave us His righteousness as a gift when we believed.  We will not be condemned while Jesus advocates for us.     

John 10:27-30 – “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand.  My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand.  I and the Father are one.”  Jesus will not drop believers or toss us aside.  He has a hold on us, and no one can change that. 

John 6:39-40 – “This is the will of Him who sent Me, that of all that He has given Me I lose nothing, but raise it up on the last day.  For this is the will of My Father, that everyone who beholds the Son and believes in Him will have eternal life, and I Myself will raise him up on the last day.”  It is the very will of God that Jesus not lose anything that has been given to Him, including those who have believed in Him for eternal life.  The one who conquered death will bring about our salvation to its completion and bring us back to life as well.  God’s will stands.    

Romans 8:38-39 – “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”  Nothing can separate us from His love for us in Jesus.  Nothing.  God is above all and cannot be defeated.    

2.  We ourselves can’t lose it.

John 10:27-30 – Refer back to this verse in the previous section.  It says that no one can snatch us out of the Father’s hand – that includes ourselves.  I cannot even pluck myself out of the hand of God once I am there. 

John 6:47 – “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes has eternal life.”  Eternal life doesn’t begin with the death of our physical bodies.  We don’t wait for it.  This verse is in the present tense and says that we who believe have it already.  It starts the moment we believe and lasts forever.  It cannot be lost for the very fact that it is eternal.     

           

1 John 5:10-13 – “These things I have written to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, so that you may know that you have eternal life.”  We don’t have to wonder whether or not we have eternal life.  Portions of Scripture (including the book of 1 John) have been dedicated to showing us that we can know for certain that we have eternal life.  If it could be lost, then there would be no certainty.   

Colossians 2:13-14 – “When you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us, which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross.”  Jesus died for all sins past, present, and future.  Think about it.  When Jesus died on the cross, all of your personal sins were in the future at that point; yet, they were all paid for.  Salvation comes by having His righteousness credited to our account, not by our own righteousness.  We cannot lose our salvation by sinning because the sin has already been paid for.  All we need is Jesus’s righteousness through belief.      

Romans 8:28-30 – “And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.”  A lot could be said about these verses, but the point I want to make is that God sees us as glorified already.  We have a hard time understanding this because we are bound by time, but God is not.  He created time and is not limited by it.  Even though at the present time we have not been glorified, it is certain that it will happen, not on the basis of anything we do, but on the basis of Christ’s completed work and gift of righteousness to those who believe.     

John 1:12-13 – “But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.”  We believers are called children of God.  Why would God use a the illustration of a permanent relationship to show us what our relationship to Him is if that relationship is not also permanent? 

Romans 8:15 – “For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption as sons by which we cry out, ‘Abba!  Father!’”  Here again, we are called children of God.  We are adopted into this permanent new relationship by faith.  A son is always a son, no matter what he does.  We have no need to fear. 

           

Galatians 3:1-3 – “You foolish Galatians, who has bewitched you, before whose eyes Jesus Christ was publicly portrayed as crucified?  This is the only thing I want to find out from you: did you receive the Spirit by the works of the Law, or by hearing with faith?  Are you so foolish?  Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected by the flesh?”  We are saved by faith, by believing in Jesus for salvation, and are at that moment given the Holy Spirit as a seal and a pledge.  Nothing we could do could earn us salvation.  It is a gift accepted by faith.  If we can’t even save ourselves in the first place, what makes us think we could keep ourselves saved by the things we do or don’t do?  If we could do nothing to earn it, what makes us think we could earn the loss of it?  It is not based on what we do, but on what Christ did for us.   

            These verses could be discussed more at length, and they are not by any means an exhaustive collection concerning this matter.  However, I believe they decisively reveal that our salvation cannot be lost.  We are secure in Christ.  We may not always feel secure in Christ, particularly if we are living in sin.  When we live in sin, we live as though we are unbelievers, so it would make sense that we would doubt our salvation.  However, our security is not dependent upon how we feel.  If we have believed, then we are saved, we have (present tense) eternal life, and we have the Holy Spirit indwelling us as a seal and a pledge.  If Jesus can come back to life, He can certainly keep us safe in His care until we are glorified with Him.  He cannot and will not lose us, and we cannot lose Him.  This is the deepest security anyone could possibly know, and it is available to you if you will just believe. 

*Wuest, Kenneth S.  Wuest’s Word Studies.  Grand Rapids, Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1966.  

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