“The mind of man
plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps.”
-Proverbs 16:9
I
always loved the board game called Life.
Well, I mostly just loved imagining who the little blue peg might be
that I was putting in the driver’s seat of my car and wondering how many little
pegs I would get to fill up the back seats of my real vehicle someday. My brother, Ryan, was my favorite person to play
with because I could bargain with him to let me alter my move to whatever I
wanted it to be. I always wanted the
twins. Now that I am a grown woman, the
thought of carrying, delivering, and raising twins is slightly terrifying to
me. Nevertheless, my young and naïve
self thought I always had to have the twins, and I could bribe my brother into
letting me pretend I got the correct number on my spin to land on the “Twins!”
space by letting him change salaries or whatever it was that he wanted to do.
 |
| Ryan & I |
Looking
back, what I really loved about that game was that I could control everything,
especially when playing with my poor, younger, easily-manipulated brother. I could choose who I married, what house I
wanted, what career I wanted, how many kids I had and whether they were boys or
girls (even to the point of getting a second vehicle to be able to fit them
all), and where I ended up. When I
played by the rules with someone else, it wasn’t nearly as fun. I didn’t always like the way my life turned
out. My friends weren’t nearly so
willing to let me bargain my way into the life I thought I wanted.
 |
| 2015 Lightning Damage |
Unfortunately
(or fortunately?), playing by the rules is a much more accurate picture of real
life. We still have the free will to
make choices, but there are so many unexpected factors that can come into play
to thwart our plans. Trees really do
fall on houses, cars really do get stolen, the stock market really does slump,
and we don’t all get our “happily ever after” type of adult lives exactly how
we dreamed they would be. If we did,
some (not all!) of us would never see our need for God. I am not at all saying that this is true of
everyone who possesses such a life.
However, for many of us such an idyllic earthly life could end in
tragedy. Masked by material, social,
physical, and emotional comfort, the hole inside us might not seem so
unbearable. The darkness of our heart
might not seem so black. Then, at the
end of our short, happy lives, our souls would be lost forever. Or, if we had managed to see our need for a
Savior and believed in Jesus but didn’t see a need to surrender to His will,
our lives would have been wasted.
All
of this is to say that most of our earthly lives will not go exactly how we
plan or hope. This might be because of
personal sin, because of Divine intervention, because we live in a fallen
world, or any other number of reasons. Whatever
the reason, the truth remains that at times life will meet or exceed our
expectations and desires, and other times it won’t be what we were expecting or
wanting at all. However, this truth
isn’t something to lament. How often do
we end up thanking God for refusing to grant a request for something we
thought we wanted years ago? When it
comes down to it, we really don’t know what we want. God sees our deepest needs and what is truly
best in the scheme of His ultimate plan, which is much bigger than us. Ultimately, the direction of our lives is not
about us at all, but about God’s glory and the salvation of souls.
This
is one of the many lessons God has been re-enforcing in my heart lately. So much about my short little story so far is
not what I would have chosen to write for myself, but it’s ultimately not about
me. I’m just one small portion of a much
larger narrative. For months, I’ve been
arguing with God, and during that time I have found it hard to know what to
write about for my blog. Finally, I
think I’m starting to grasp just a little of what He’s been trying to get
through to me, and suddenly He has flooded my mind with words to write. As a result, this post is an introduction to
a five-part series in which I intend to share a few chapters from my story and
some ways that I’m learning to accept and live this life that I didn’t expect
to be living (ultimately, learning once again to truly surrender my life to
God’s will, no matter what that may be).
Each post will also include some glimpses into the life of a Bible
character who walked a similar path or experienced the same struggles. It might get a little messy. I am a sinner with a lot to learn (thank God
for His grace!), but I’d love for you to join me on this journey of figuring
out what to do with a life unexpected.
This
is one of the many lessons God has been re-enforcing in my heart lately. So much about my short little story so far is
not what I would have chosen to write for myself, but it’s ultimately not about
me. I’m just one small portion of a much
larger narrative. For months, I’ve been
arguing with God, and during that time I have found it hard to know what to
write about for my blog. Finally, I
think I’m starting to grasp just a little of what He’s been trying to get
through to me, and suddenly He has flooded my mind with words to write. As a result, this post is an introduction to
a five-part series in which I intend to share a few chapters from my story and
some ways that I’m learning to accept and live this life that I didn’t expect
to be living (ultimately, learning once again to truly surrender my life to
God’s will, no matter what that may be).
Each post will also include some glimpses into the life of a Bible
character who walked a similar path or experienced the same struggles. It might get a little messy. I am a sinner with a lot to learn (thank God
for His grace!), but I’d love for you to join me on this journey of figuring
out what to do with a life unexpected.