Maranatha's Marriage GetAway, 2017

I remember sitting in the Olsen chapel at Maranatha Bible Camp over a decade ago and listening skeptically to a woman speak on the topic of purity in relationships.  I’m not certain whether the memory is from the Purity Conference I attended in 6th grade or from Junior High Camp one of the following years.  Nevertheless, I believed that I, a young girl who had not yet even entered the world of dating, understood romance and the progression of a relationship better than this married adult speaker.  The memory that is so vivid in my mind is her statement that was something along the lines of, “Girls, there have been days when my husband does something that makes me think, ‘I married THAT?’”  Whatever point she was trying to make at the time didn’t really stick in my mind, but I remember pitying her and thinking that she must have settled.  She must have never REALLY fallen in love, or she must not have married the RIGHT person with a SOLID relationship with God.  If she had, she and her husband would only ever be crazy about each other. 

Once I reached my dating years, I started to believe people when they said that marriage was hard, but I thought that “hard” meant getting used to the occasional dirty sock on the floor.  I had little disagreements and moments of irritation with some of my boyfriends, and I was still convinced that those would likely be the extent of any difficulty in my future marriage.  Those minor spats were easy enough to work through.  Granted, I was hurt on a much deeper level by a couple young men, but I just chalked those truly devastating times up to being with the “wrong” guy.  I wouldn’t ever have to experience that level of heartbreak with the man I chose to marry because I would refuse to marry anyone who had the capacity to hurt me that much. 

July 14, 2017 marked my 5th anniversary of being married to Jon.  Our relationship has been tested by fire in so many ways through that short amount of time.  I’ve learned that the speaker I pitied was simply being real with us and that Paul wasn’t just a spurned, ignorant, and bitter single man when he cautioned in 1 Corinthians 7:28 that married people will have trouble in this life.  Above all, I’ve learned that I am a sinner who married a sinner, and like every other sinner, we both have the capacity to hurt each other in profound ways.  We both desperately need Jesus and His overflowing grace, love, and forgiveness so that we can in turn freely give that grace, love, and forgiveness to each other.  Trust and intimacy don’t just generate spontaneously in marriage like they seem to during the early stages of dating.  They must be intentionally cultivated and pursued. 

This weekend we were given the opportunity and privilege to lead worship at Maranatha’s Marriage GeAway.  There was an irony in being on the other side of my wedding day and sitting once again in a Maranatha chapel (though a much larger and more updated one) and listening to another speaker talk about God’s design for marriage, particularly in the area of sex.  While much of the content in the messages opened old wounds and triggered past emotions, it was good for us to be reminded of God’s design and to have a springboard for communication about ways we can strive to continue to align ourselves with that design.  It was also good to be reminded that marriage, when done God’s way, is a beautiful image of the very character of God. 

For anyone who wants to listen to the messages we heard this weekend delivered by Pastor Bryan Clark (Lincoln Berean), you can find them at http://maranathacamp.org/marriage-getaway/ in the drop-down menu titled “Fall 2017 Session Audio.”   

For me, some of the highlights of this weekend included:

*Leading worship with my husband.  He originally planned on adding some more band members, but the director of the camp (Kris Cheek) just wanted us to lead as a couple.  There is something sweet and bonding about getting to play music and ministering to others together. 

*Getting to know some acquaintances better and meeting some new couples.  We ended up spending quite a bit of time with the “5-Year Club,” which was comprised of us and three other couples who got married in 2012, including one couple who was our anniversary twin (we got married on the same exact day!).  We played games, laughed, ate meals, and discussed life together.  Jon and I also really enjoyed talking to a couple from Lincoln Berean whose kids are about the same age as we are. 

*A beautiful, delicious, candlelit, and catered dinner and overall good food that I didn’t have to plan for, shop for, prepare, or cook! 

*Opportunities to enjoy and have fun with my husband. For example, we roller-skated for a few minutes for a short date night (we were pretty tired by that point and ready to get home before another early morning), while Barry Holbrook (camp staff and friend of ours) played blush-worthy love songs over the speakers.  He and Tanya (his wife) also shouted out for us to kiss, and the attempt nearly landed us on the ground in a tangled mess. 

*Getting a refresher course on some things I already knew about sex and marriage and also seeing some truths and making connections that I hadn’t before in various Bible passages. 

*Deep conversations with my husband on the drives to and from North Platte (we would have stayed at the camp if it weren’t for our 3 canine responsibilities at home). 

*The chance to evaluate and re-focus on being intentional about cultivating intimacy in our marriage and taking little steps towards making better choices with our time with that end in mind. 

Marriage isn’t easy.  Cliché, I know, but many hurting husbands and wives know the depths of what that statement can really mean.  Marriage is even harder when you try to figure it all out on your own, or worse, when you set it on the backburner and neglect it until one day you wake up to find a huge explosion of a mess.  I’m thankful for events like this Marriage GetAway that point couples back to the purpose of marriage and to the Designer of marriage, giving them hope, encouragement, and strength to keep fighting for everything that this world is trying to pollute, cheapen, and tear apart.  As with all other Maranatha events, I’m thankful for the chance to pull away from the routine busyness of life to quiet my heart before God and hit the re-set button on areas of my life that need it.  I highly recommend checking out all that Maranatha Camp & Retreat Center has to offer!