Making Decisions

           

            Making decisions is not a strength of mine.  I get stuck in a black hole of researching, dissecting, and over-analyzing. The whole process is draining when I’m trying to figure it out on my own.  A friend recently introduced me to the term “decision fatigue.”  I definitely have that.  I experienced it mildly for the first time when we were planning our wedding.  Then, between all of the moving, job changes, ministry changes, and infertility, I feel like I have had chronic decision fatigue for years now.    

We’ve been trying to make a lot of big decisions recently.  Should we try IUI (which was recommended for the second time by another OB/GYN)?  If we do, should we go to Kearney, Scottsbluff, Fort Collins, or Denver?  Which doctor do we choose?  How much do we need to save up?  Do we do a medicated cycle or a natural cycle?  Do we continue to seek out some other natural approaches first?  At the same time?  Afterwards?  It all makes my head spin, and these are only the decisions that are related to our journey to parenthood! 

            As a result, clarity and direction have been the two overarching requests of my prayers in the past several weeks.  I’ve desperately wanted quick and obvious answers for the big questions in several areas in my life.  I’m so impatient.  As I wrapped up reading Exodus this week, God impressed upon my heart one answer – but not an answer I was seeking.  The last several chapters of Exodus record God’s thorough, detailed instructions for the building of the Tabernacle and all of its contents.  In the final chapter, one idea is then repeated multiple times: Moses did everything “just as the LORD had commanded him.”  As I read that phrase again and again, the answer God gave me was that I need to focus on being obedient to Him in all the areas where He has already given me clear instruction.  Daily obedience to what He has already revealed in His Word will pave the way and prepare my heart to discern His guidance in the bigger questions when the time comes.  Why would He bother giving me more guidance unless I’m listening to and applying what He has already plainly told me?

            Ultimately, this principle of obeying what is already clear goes hand in hand with the truth that above all we should be concerned with loving God with our whole beings.  As we pursue Him, delight in Him, trust Him, obey Him, and rely on Him, our own desires will be aligned with His (Ps. 37:4) and He will make our paths straight (Prov. 3:5, 6).  If we are walking closely with Him and earnestly seeking His counsel, we can have faith that He will lead in His time.  We can be confident in the choices we make if they have been preceded by examining God’s Word, praying with faith, acknowledging God’s role, and seeking out godly counsel.  His intention is never to hide and make us guess what He wants.  He wants us to know Him and to know His heart.  He is more than willing to lead if we are willing to follow.  It starts with saying “yes” to what He has already clearly asked of us.