Phillips Medical Update

In my post titled Phillips News & Summer Highlights, I wrote a little about how we were starting to work with the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha.  It has been a long process, but this last weekend we were flooded with several more pieces to the puzzle of our wait for a child and my personal health.  We have been overwhelmed by the generosity of so many of you all in providing encouragement, prayer, meals, hugs, financial gifts, and understanding as we’ve walked through this step in the journey.  Your support has helped us to endure and to just keep doing the next thing.  We are so grateful God has placed such a wonderful network of loving people in our lives, and we wanted to update you with the new information we’ve been given and with some of our next steps.  Disclaimer: I don’t really filter much.  Read at your own risk.      

I’ve known for a while that something was off, which was why I was so unsettled with the idea of trying IUI.  My doctor said that infertility is the body’s way of telling us that something is wrong – that having a baby is not a good idea until the underlying issues are addressed.  We now know that I have plenty of underlying issues.  On Friday, I had a diagnostic laparoscopy along with several other tests that were performed while I was under anesthesia.  On Monday, we met with my doctor to watch the video of the surgery (bizarre!) and discuss the findings along with my previously known issues and the  bloodwork results from the thorough hormone evaluation I had done back in August.  During the surgery, they also took some cultures and biopsies, but we won’t have the results from those for a few weeks.  With the information we have right now, here are the presenting issues:

Hypothyroidism

I was diagnosed with this back in 2016, but I still experience many symptoms of thyroid problems.  My current doctor added a slow release T3 medication to my current medication and is still working to determine the optimal dosage for that. 

Endometriosis

During my surgery, they found extensive endometriosis along with some adhesions (scar tissue). 

Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS)

The ultrasound before my surgery revealed some ovarian cysts.  Although I am missing some of the classic symptoms and signs of PCOS (such as being overweight, having way too many days between periods, etc.), I do have enough indicators (such as enlarged ovaries, elevated levels of certain hormones, acne, etc.) that my doctor believes I have this condition as well.

Low Progesterone

My hormone evaluation indicated that, as my doctor put it, my “progesterone stinks.”  The levels are far too low, which puts me at risk for things like infertility, preeclampsia, and miscarriage.   

Cervical Inflammation

They said they saw signs of inflammation in my cervix during the surgery, but the results from the cultures will tell us more.      

Miscellaneous

I have a small cyst on one of my fallopian tubes, and I also have an extra little useless fallopian tube attached to a main tube (what in the world?!).  It isn’t really hurting anything at this point, but it’s not helping either. 

People have been asking how I am with all of this.  I am a little overwhelmed at finding out just how much is going on in my body, but I am also not overly surprised.  I am relieved to know that I am not just a wimp and that issues I’ve faced aren’t just all in my head.   I am glad to finally have some more concrete answers as to why I haven’t been able to get pregnant  in the past (nearly) four years.  I am frustrated that it has taken this long to get a diagnosis for so many major issues.  I am thankful for a husband who is completely supportive, caring, and sweet.  I am anxious and hopeful for the next steps, which presently include the following:

Ultrasound Series

I was supposed to do this during the same trip as the diagnostic laparoscopy, but my body didn’t cooperate, and it was going to run into Christmas.  The scheduling for this is very dependent on where I am at in my cycle, so it makes it hard to plan for it in advance.  It will help the doctor to see what is going on through the ovulation process.   They want this to be done at their facility in Omaha as well.    

Second Surgery

If the issues had been minor, my doctor would have corrected them during my laparoscopy.  However, because the problems are so varied and so extensive, I need to have another surgery.  It will still be minimally invasive (five incisions), but it will take about eight hours, including the time to stitch everything up to prevent scar tissue.  I will likely have to stay in the hospital at least one night and stay in Omaha for several days.  The recovery time will also be longer.

Bloodwork

I have to have a blood test for insulin resistance because insulin resistance is often associated with PCOS.  I also need to have my prolactin levels re-tested.  They were elevated when I tested back in August, but a repeat test is required to make sure it wasn’t circumstantial.      

Hormone Treatment

My doctor will start me on some form of progesterone, but probably not until after the second surgery.  She said the injections would be the most effective but that we can discuss other options (I am not too keen on needles).

We appreciate your continued prayers as we navigate the difficult scheduling, financial preparation, trip planning, and emotional craziness that comes with all of this!   

Pre-Op

   

Are You All In?

On Wednesday night, Jon and I joined in one of the high school midweek small groups.  Barry, the volunteer leader for this particular group, shared a challenge that we have heard him give to students many times before.  The challenge was to say yes to God before even knowing the question.  Such a challenge should be easy and logical since we know that God is sovereign, good, just, loving, all-knowing, and all-powerful.  Yet, we fear what discomfort, rejection, pain, or loss He might ask us to endure.  Tension creeps into our shoulders as we ponder which dreams He might ask us to delay or sacrifice completely.  Blind to the future, we struggle to overcome the feeling of risk that accompanies that depth of surrender. 

Of course, we desire to see the mighty works of God and His plan brought to fruition, but are we willing to do whatever He asks of us to fulfill our role in that plan?  Joseph became Pharaoh’s right-hand man, saved his family from the famine in Egypt, and was a key component in God’s design to preserve and grow the nation of Israel, but he also endured years of betrayal, slavery, false accusations, imprisonment, and abandonment in the process.  How serious are we about following Jesus?  How dedicated are we to His will?  Is He worth any trial, test, or risk we could face?  Many of us claim to have surrendered to Him completely, and we pray to Him to work miracles in our lives, but we freeze up when He calls us to action.  How can we find the strength and the courage to instead say yes to God, regardless of what He asks?

            After the death of Moses, God called Joshua to the daunting task of leading Israel, a nation of former slaves, to take possession of the promised land, which was inhabited by established cities of idolatrous people and warrior giants.  Joshua had seen the nation say no to God once before out of fear, and he had wandered in the wilderness along with them for forty years as a result.  His “yes” attitude when he first served as a scout (Num. 13:8, 16-14:10) had been overshadowed by the cautious majority.  Now, in the first chapter of the book of Joshua, God encourages His chosen leader and commands Him to be strong and courageous (three times!) as he continues to live with wholehearted surrender to God’s will.  In His charge to Joshua (Josh. 1:2-9), we also see three keys to finding strength and courage for ourselves to have a “yes” attitude toward God. 

        

1.  Believe God’s Promises (vv. 2-6)

           

            God had promised to give the land to Israel.  Joshua knew this, but God reminded Him of it once again.  God has also given us all sorts of promises.  For example, He promises that He will finish the work He started in us (Phil. 1:6) and that He will work all things for the good of those who love Him (Rom. 8:28).  These are promises that we can cling to, and when we believe that God will do what He promised, we can find the strength to keep going.  When we can’t see the whole picture, we can look back on God’s promises and find the courage to keep saying yes to the only One who never breaks His promises. 

2.  Obey God’s Precepts (vv. 7-8)

            Being strong and courageous is very closely tied to obedience in this whole passage and particularly in verses 7 and 8.  God reminds Joshua not only to be obedient in the monumental task of leading a nation to conquer a land, but also to be obedient to the whole Word of God.  As we are obedient to God’s Word in the little things, the truth and goodness of His precepts are made even more evident to us, which emboldens us to continue to be obedient when God gives us radical and life-altering callings.  In addition, God  more often than not works His will in and through us by the means of our individual choices, not by a large display of instant Divine intervention.  We beg God to do a miracle in restoring our marriage, but are we willing to forgive our spouse?  When we feel the weight of financial burdens and plead with God to provide, are we willing to change our spending, saving, giving, and working habits to align with Scripture?  If we are careful to follow His way in all of the little things, we will have more clarity and discernment to obey and find success in the big things. 

3.  Remember God’s Presence (vv. 5, 9)

           

            God’s presence in this passage is found both as a promise (v. 5) and as a comfort (v.9).  This particular promise of God’s presence was directly to Joshua, but we have the same promise and comfort in Hebrews 13:5b-6.  The knowledge that God does not leave us alone to try and do what He wants us to do allows us to boldly step forward in obedience in spite of our fears.  With the God of the universe at our side, what reason could we possibly have to fear man?  The One who split the Red Sea, the One who provided manna in the desert, the One who lowered Himself to the point of infancy for our sake, the One who carried the weight of the punishment for our sin, and the One who conquered the grave is with us.  He is with you. 

            In our relationship with God, He is in – He is all in.  If you have any doubts about that fact, go back to the cross.  Even while we were directly opposed to Him and even when we spat in His face with our disobedience and unbelief, He left heaven to come down in the lowest and most dependent of positions just to grow up and be tortured and killed by the ones He came to save.  Now, He is alive, and He reminds us that He is still all in – we need only to believe.  As the truth of His love sinks into our hearts, how could our natural response be anything other than reciprocation?  No one wants to be in a one-sided relationship.  No one wants to give their all to someone only to receive a fraction of that person’s heart in return.  He has given us all that we need to find the strength and the courage to say yes to Him.  Are you willing to go all in with Jesus?  

Don't forget to find We Are Seen on social media or sign up for e-mail updates!

Love Keeps No Records

Record-keeping is my jam.  If it can be quantified, listed, color-coded, or categorized, I’ve got a spreadsheet, an app, a binder, or a file for it.  For our Pope Paul VI testing alone, I have a journal, a hard file (with dividers, of course), and an e-file (with sub-files and sub-sub-files).  The information pack-rat inside of me insists on keeping anything that may be necessary to reference in the future, and my firstborn tendencies demand that I keep it all organized enough that it can be readily and easily accessed.  Such is the life of an accountant’s daughter.

My passion for keeping neat, accurate records arises, at least in part, from my beaver personality (read The Two Sides of Love by Gary Smalley & John Trent).  We beavers are known for our affinity for precision, accuracy, and detail, but we are also characterized by our emphasis on the past.  We put a lot of stock into what has already happened, and our thoughts and decisions are often rooted in the past.  Before jumping in, we like to see that an idea or method has been tested and proven to be practical and effective over time.  Shady track records and patterns of inconsistency are nearly impossible for us to overlook.  These God-given traits are good and necessary for many aspects of society, work, and life to function.  However, as with any other personality traits, they lend themselves to certain weaknesses when misused or taken to extremes.       

Last week, we started a series at The Crossing Fellowship titled “The New Rules for Love, Sex, & Dating.”  On a side note, my husband is going to be delivering the message on sex; I haven’t decided for sure whether or not I should go MIA that weekend (kidding…sort of …).  Anyway, during last week’s message we talked about chemistry problems versus relationship problems, becoming the right person instead of looking for (or trying to make your spouse into) the “right” person, and what love in a relationship really looks like.  Check out the full message here, or visit The Crossing’s Facebook page here.  We spent some time in 1 Corinthians 13, and the end of one verse grabbed onto me in a way that it never has before: “[love] keeps no record of being wronged” (NLT).

I rarely lash out, and I am not easily provoked to all-out anger, but we’ve already established that I am assuredly a record-keeper, and this area is no exception.  Of course I don’t keep physical, written records of all the ways I’ve been hurt or irritated, but they are written in my heart and mind just the same.  When I am not very careful and intentional to keep short accounts by dealing with the hurt, sealing up those records with forgiveness, and letting them go through trust in my God, they simmer and intensify with bitterness as the record lengthens.  I have some golden retriever (another Smalley/Trent reference) in me too that prefers to keep the peace and avoid confrontation as much as possible, which only exacerbates the problem.  As I reach the boiling point, smaller things upset me much more quickly, and I begin to burn everyone around me as the turmoil in my heart inevitably bubbles to the surface (we talked about this extensively at The Crossing in the series “Me & My Big Mouth”). 

I have a long way to go, but God is teaching me to love better.  He is constantly reminding me that He does not keep a record of my sins and that I need to love and forgive as He loves and forgives.  He tugs at my heart and lets me know when I need to deal with something, and I’m trying to listen and be more eagerly obedient to that nudge.  I am also learning that sometimes I have to be willing to look past the track record and see people as God sees them.  In His eyes, I am already glorified in Christ (Rom. 8:29, 30).  In His eyes, they are either glorified in Christ or lost in their unbelief.  Either way, they are a work in progress just as I am, they are valuable, and they need to be shown love and respect.  Our lead pastor, Eric, has often encouraged us to treat our spouses (or anyone, for that matter) as if they are already the person we hope they will become.  Isn’t that how we want to be treated?  We all need people to believe in us and who we can become through Christ.  Even though I naturally look to the past, I am learning to turn my eyes instead to the future – to ditch my records and, with hope, trust in God and what He can and will do in me and in those around me.

Don't forget to find We Are Seen on social media or sign up for e-mail updates!