Feeling Forgotten: Photography & Psalm 13

            One photography skill I learned through 4-H was how to adjust the depth of field (DoF) in a photo.  To put it simply, DoF is the term used to describe the portion of the picture that is in focus.  A picture has a shallow DoF when the areas in front of and behind the subject are blurry.  In a picture with a deep DoF, the foreground and the background appear sharper.  Here are some examples to illustrate DoF:

            On Wednesday, my Scripture reading for the morning was Psalm 13, and I quickly discovered that the shift of focus in the Psalm is much like a shift in the DoF of a picture.  In the first four verses, David seems to be fixated on his current circumstances and feelings.  He expresses a deep sense of abandonment in his blunt questions and fervent entreaties.  While he focuses on his immediate and tangible sorrows and needs, the truth (along with the Source of truth) seems hazy and out of reach.  However, he takes a step back in verses 5 and 6 to bring the entire picture into a sharpened view, and we see a drastic and abrupt change in the tone of his writing.  He remembers God's trustworthy lovingkindness and joyous salvation, and he chooses to sing praises to God because of the truth that God "has dealt bountifully" with him. 

            I was so challenged by that sudden shift in perspective.  I think we all feel forgotten by God at times.  I know I do.  My doctor's appointment on Thursday didn't really yield any new information, good or bad, but as I walked back to my empty minivan in the rain with the options for our next steps swirling around in my head, I lost it.  I don't remember the last time I cried so violently or for so long.  Thankfully, my husband was super sweet about taking care of me for the rest of the evening, and I had Psalm 13 running through my mind from the day before. 

            I know God has shown me immeasurable grace.  I know He has given me every spiritual blessing.  I know He has given me His Son's precious blood and pure righteousness in exchange for my wretched sinfulness.  I know He cares, He has a plan, He has His own timing, and He can do the impossible.  I know He has dealt bountifully with me.  But can I let that knowledge sink into the depths of my soul, resulting in songs of praise, even when I feel abandoned and forgotten by God?  In those moments, can I really say with full conviction, authenticity, and rejoicing that God has dealt bountifully with me?  David could.

            There is a time for expressing the anguish, the questions, and the honest desperation of our hearts.  The key is to avoid getting stuck with only a shallow DoF.  We need God's Word and God's people to adjust us and bring us back to a deeper DoF where we can see the big picture, the truth, with clarity.  I am thankful that God could see the breached dam that would flood over me on Thursday and that He strengthened me with His Word ahead of time and through my husband afterwards so that I wouldn't be completely swept away.  Like He did with David, He held all the little shattered pieces of me together until I could once again make out the light.  His Word is life and light, and because of that Word, I know He will carry us through on both the good days and bad.  I have not been forgotten.