The Next Thing

My teachers at Frontier School of the Bible warned me.  They said that we shouldn't be surprised when we teach truths from God's Word and then soon after find ourselves tested on those very same truths.  When I wrote my last post, "The Enticement of Escape," I hadn't felt the way that I described for quite a while.  I could relate to what I was reading in Psalm 55 from past experiences, but it wasn't something that I was particularly struggling with right then. 

Then, more life happened.  We were suddenly bombarded with discouragement and frustration on all sides.  I started really feeling the weight of it all while we were cabin leading for Senior High week at Maranatha Bible Camp.  I told my husband on that Thursday that I felt like I was lugging around a boulder.  My heart was heavy with so many different burdens. I retreated to be alone before God for an hour or so, and He did lift the weight, but my heart was still not completely free from turmoil and exhaustion.  All of it came to a head a few days ago, and I found myself getting angry with God and with my husband again.  I wanted someone to blame.  I wanted to run.

During one of our Grow Groups at camp, the speaker taught about our freedom as believers to choose.  We do not have to be a slave to our circumstances and feelings.  Because of Christ, we can choose to respond differently.  I can choose to trust God even when the stuff of my life doesn't seem to jive with what I think He should do.  I can choose to live in the joy of Christ even when I'm hurting.  I don't always make the right choice.  I need His grace desperately.

Yesterday, God brought me another reminder to free me up again.  In her book, Keep a Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot advises her overwhelmed readers to "just do the next thing."  The first time I received a stack of class syllabuses outlining every single homework assignment required in all of my courses for the year, I nearly had a meltdown.  On top of all of my extra-curricular and church activities, I could not fathom how I could possibly get everything done.  However, I quickly learned that the load wasn't nearly so daunting if I just focused on what needed to be done that day.  I just had to do the next thing. 

I can get so wrapped up in worrying about the future and problems I can't control or change that I forget to look at what's right in front of me.  There's no sense in that kind of thinking.  It reminds me of the little boy I babysit.  He has recently been learning to walk, and he has gotten pretty good at it.  He can walk all over the house.  However, the problem is that he doesn't pay attention at all to his individual steps.  He gets so excited and fixated on where he is going that he is constantly in danger of stumbling over his minefield of toys or slipping on a book and slamming his head on the hard floor.    

God has only given me today: this moment, this step. My assignment is simply to listen to him and just do the next thing.  He will take care of the rest. Giving in to anger and seeking someone to blame doesn't fix anything.  God knows what He is doing.  I have to give Him the load and quit taking it back.  He's walking with me, and He will guide me through - one step at a time.