Church: Monstrous or Misunderstood? (Part 4)

            When I started this series, we were approaching Thanksgiving.  My original intent was to write a single post about how thankful I am for the churches I have been a part of and the ways they have impacted me.  Obviously, my train of thought ran away on the scenic route, and now we have left Thanksgiving in the dust.  Fortunately, thankfulness doesn’t have to be confined to one day a year.  I can’t imagine what my life would be like apart from the influence of the five local churches that I have called “home.” 

**Point of Clarification: Four of the five following churches are Berean churches, which many people have never heard of before.  The name might sound funky, but it comes from Acts 17:10, 11 where the people of the town of Berea are said to have “received the word with great eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see whether these things were so.”  Berean churches are a group of non-denominational churches collectively known as the Berean Fellowship that all believe in the same core biblical teachings and support each other in various ways and degrees.  They function autonomously, but the connection through the Fellowship provides a pool of resources (ideas, relationships, etc.) that often proves to be beneficial.  The national board exists to encourage and strengthen the churches and their leaders as opposed to providing governmental rule.    

1.  Sterling Berean (Beginnings)

            For the first twenty years of my life, Sterling Berean was my home church.  My infancy, childhood, pre-teen, teenage, and early college years were all spent with this dear group of people.  I can’t even begin to count all of the people who were invested alongside my parents in my spiritual upbringing.  Nursery workers, Children’s Church and Sunday School teachers, AWANA leaders, Vacation Bible School volunteers and teachers, youth group leaders, worship team members, mission trip leaders, college and young adult group hosts, and so many more individuals all contributed to my biblical education and development as a whole.  Although the programs were all beneficial, the relationships are what have stuck with me the most. 

The church leaders weren’t simply my teachers, elders, deacons, and pastors, but they were the people who we went out to lunch with on Sunday afternoon and had supper with again later that week, whose kids I played with, and whose houses were nearly as familiar and secure as my own.  The women who taught me spiritual principles and provided gentle correction were the same women who came alongside my mom to help me navigate the world of dating and who hugged me and listened to me through all of the heartache and frustration.  I’ll never forget when I went through the most difficult breakup I have ever experienced with a boy I shouldn’t have been dating in the first place, and my pastor’s wife came to our house for something unrelated.  When I answered the door, I could see the compassion on her face as soon as she saw me, and without any hint of judgment she just hugged me and told me how sorry she was for me.  I am blessed to have many similar stories.  My church family cared about more than just what I believed – they cared about me. 

They continue to care about me.  After I left for Bible college, I would always get bombarded with a million questions each time I came home.  They allowed me to present my opportunity to go on a five-week mission trip to Europe with my school, and they provided all of the financial support I needed to go.  When my world fell apart a couple years ago, the same woman who held me together after that awful breakup texted me a passage of Scripture and let me know she was praying for me.  About three months ago, the church came together and helped carry my family through the death of my grandmother with meals, encouragement, practical help with the funeral, flowers, and so much more.  These are the people who taught me from the very beginning that a church is so much more than a crowd that comes together to enjoy a speaker.  A church isn’t like a mob of fans at a sporting event or a concert who come together because of a common interest and then depart to lead separate and disconnected lives.  Church is quite literally a family.      

2.  Monument Bible (Discovery)

            After I left for Frontier School of the Bible, I had to decide which church to attend while I went to school.  FSB made the decision process easier by providing a list of churches that aligned with the doctrinal views of the school.  After visiting three other churches, I landed at Monument Bible Church, which felt the most like Sterling Berean to me.  Monument is where I discovered how to integrate myself into a new church through service.  I learned that I had to put forth a little more effort into developing the relationships that I had taken for granted while growing up.  For the first year, I did nothing more than attend church services, and I didn’t really feel very connected.  After that, I started helping with AWANA and worship team, and I quickly found out that serving in a ministry plugs you into a church in a way that few other approaches can.  I had to be patient, diligent, and intentional, but Monument slowly started to become grafted into my own church family.  Jon joined me at Monument after we started dating and he transferred to FSB, and then we continued on through our first couple years of marriage.  Monument provided an environment where we could discover who we were as adults and discover our own place in the church body (including our spiritual gifts and ministry strengths and weaknesses).  I am thankful for the people there who gave us grace and room for discovery, who continued our training in the Word of God, who challenged us to try new ministries that were out of our comfort zone (like teaching Sunday School for two-year-olds, for example), and who gave us so many opportunities to gain experience in ministry.             

3.  Marysville Berean (Growing Pains)

            After Jon graduated in 2014, we headed towards Marysville, KS in a little U-Haul that was overflowing more with our fresh Bible knowledge and eager enthusiasm than our belongings.  We didn’t really know a soul in Marysville, but we had found out that Marysville Berean was looking to hire a youth pastor through the Berean Fellowship’s Facebook page.  After about six months of getting acquainted with the church, candidating, and plowing through the finish line at school, we were finally entering our first full-time ministry.  Like the churches I have already mentioned, Marysville Berean loved on us generously.  Several families adopted us in as we jumped into church life with both feet.  They showed us grace as we maneuvered through the new and unexplored territory of full-time ministry.  We loved the youth group, and even though it wasn’t always easy, we knew that we had found what we were made for.

            Even so, Jon and I still needed to grow up in many ways.  Ministry wasn’t the only area in which we were green.  Life hadn’t really hit us with its full force yet, and our marriage, though we had it pretty rough from the start, was still largely in its untested infancy.  Our journey to Marysville had taken us to yet uncharted waters of adulthood and brought to the forefront things in our own hearts and in our marriage that we could not ignore or hide any longer.  We reached a breaking point, and God removed us from that ministry.  Leaving Marysville Berean was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do, and I still feel the wounds throbbing as I write these words.  We had to leave these members of our church family in circumstances that were far from ideal, and it was painful and confusing for us all.  Yet, God brings beauty out of ashes.  He refines us through the fire.  Jon and I are different people and can relate to people in a whole new way because of the struggles we have faced, and we know that God can and will redeem the whole situation for those whom we had to leave behind as well.                        

4.  Mitchell Berean (Healing & Restoration)

            The circumstances surrounding our departure from Marysville Berean gave us a strong desire to be near a good support system but still be fairly anonymous for a while.  Jon’s parents were at Mitchell Berean, and we only knew a handful of the many other people there (one of which was the lead pastor), so it became the clear and logical choice in the midst of a very hazy time.  At Mitchell Berean, we went through the healing process.  The pastor provided counseling for us for several months, and the church leadership gave us the space we needed.  They acknowledged where we were at without rubbing our faces in it, and they didn’t cast us aside.  There, we didn’t have to face all the difficult and unanswerable questions that seemed to suck the very air from our lungs every time we went to a place where we were better known.  I hid in the sea of the large congregation at Mitchell Berean through the grieving process until I had scarred over enough to start to look out again.

            As we recovered, and with the guidance of the pastor, we eventually took baby steps back into helping with worship and youth group at Mitchell.  Even though we knew that our time at Mitchell was likely temporary until God called us back into full-time ministry, we poured our hearts into the work that He had for us there.  In time, we also found out that we were not alone in our messy life.  Being a part of several life groups taught us that we could be transparent and vulnerable and still be loved.  It also taught us how to better understand and love those who were transparent and vulnerable with us.  God provided us with so many precious and rich friendships through that year and a half.  The place that had started as our anonymous cave became our safe haven where we were free and known.  Our time with Mitchell Berean was so valuable and nourishing for our hearts.            

5.  The Crossing Fellowship (Reaching Out)   

            Four months ago, we said goodbye to Mitchell Berean as God called us back into full-time ministry at the Crossing Fellowship (which is also a Berean church).  Defining the present season is more difficult than looking over the past, but I chose “reaching out” to characterize this time because this church is particularly passionate about reaching out to unbelievers and seeing people “meet, follow, and love Jesus.”  Here, we are learning in new ways how to meet people where they are at and lead them to the same salvation, healing, and hope that we have found.  God has already provided a sweet network of friendships, which I am so grateful for, and we are continually refreshed by the willingness of our new church family to be real and honest.  

            

            I realize that most of what I shared about these five churches is positive.  Not every single experience I had with all of these churches was good, but I still would not have given up my time with them for anything.  Churches have to work through fights, dysfunction, personality clashes, and legitimate hurts just like a family does.  Relationships are messy, and there are times when a hermit’s life looks appealing.  However, God created us for relationship, and we cannot go through life, especially the Christian life, alone.  That’s not the way God designed it to work.  When we do decide to choose relationship – to choose church –  we discover blessings that we could never recreate or manufacture on our own.  We grow into people that we could never have become through isolation.  Yes, I’ve chosen instead of focusing on the faults to see what God has designed and be thankful – because it truly is a gift.